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Why You Are Lonely and How to Make Friends

  • Publicado em 5 Set 2022
  • We want to be part of your friendship journey, so we’ve created a few things you can share with new and old friends: kgs.link/friendship_collection
    Sources & further reading:
    Friends make life good. They provide the scaffolding that makes it not just bearable but fun. They give us a sense of meaning and purpose and are a source of security, self esteem and happiness. Almost nothing predicts how happy you will be as how connected you feel and a lack of social connection is associated with a number of diseases and a shorter life.
    But maybe you have scrolled through your phone, unsure who to call to go to a movie with, to celebrate with or ask for comfort. You may realize that you don’t have enough friends and feel lonely. And it is not just you. Disconnectedness and loneliness are widespread.
    Many people want more close friends but don’t know how to get them.
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Comentários • 14 782

  • Kurzgesagt – In a Nutshell

    We want to be part of your friendship journey, so we’ve created a few things you can share with new and old friends:

  • Ryan Wolfe
    Ryan Wolfe 21 dia atrás +27

    This was literally posted mere moments after I sent a text to somebody about how lonely I’ve been feeling so I am now fully convinced kurzgesagt is in my walls

  • Boone Christianson
    Boone Christianson 14 dias atrás +823

    This fails to take into account the fear of rejection. All the lonely people I know don’t need to be told how to make friends, they are crippled by the fear of doing what this video says, then getting rejected. It doesn’t sting for “just a few hours”. This anxiety exists for a reason, and that needs to be addressed at least simultaneously with the efforts to meet people.

  • ThanksIfYourReadIt
    ThanksIfYourReadIt 21 dia atrás +662

    For everyone: "The process of making friends is hard coded on an instinctual level in ALL humans." So don't worry about not knowing how to do it, only worry about what makes you stop doing it.

  • Mike Jones
    Mike Jones 14 dias atrás +199

    A female friend and I got in a meaningless spat about three years back and it caused a divide - we chose to go our separate ways for about two years after but it occasionally ate away at me because we were pretty good friends up until then. I decided to reach out, forgive, and make amends. I couldn't be happier that I did - as we are now closer than ever and hang out often. We decided we would never revert back to our old situation and decided to work on ourselves together, flaws and all.

  • Giulia's Cookbook
    Giulia's Cookbook 21 dia atrás +346

    I’m crying so hard watching this as I’ve been so lonely for too long… maybe even my whole life. It hurts when it seems like everyone around me has people to hang with and be social meanwhile I’ve got no one except me and sometimes my parents who are generally busy. Kinda feel ashamed writing this as a 30 yo. I’ve been to therapy and nothing helps.

  • Memento Mori
    Memento Mori 14 dias atrás +98

    "Being physically present in a class a lot without saying a word makes others more sympathetic to you".

  • Gamerrr Dude
    Gamerrr Dude 21 dia atrás +6

    The fact that this is currently trending really says a lot about the internet’s general audience. I’m with you, dudes!

  • Holly and Stella Doodle
    Holly and Stella Doodle 21 dia atrás +188

    My son is very social and the pandemic was very difficult for him. He nearly failed to graduate and only just passed.

  • E1025
    E1025 14 dias atrás +139

    Hey Kurzgesagt! I followed your links and found a local meetup that happened Sunday. When the time came around, I wasn't sure if I had the introvert social battery to spend meeting new people. I thought I would reach out to an old friend who I had regrettably let slowly drift from my life. I decided if he didn't respond, I would go to the kurzgesagt meetup. Turns out he was super happy to hear from me, and we spent Sunday evening at a bar having a good time catching up after 6 years :) Thank you for giving me the push!

  • Science & Engineering
    Science & Engineering Dia atrás +33

    I used to be very chatty. I had many friends but after years of bullying my confidence went down, now that I graduated I didn't even realize but my personality has shifted from a open and fun person to a very closed off introverted person cautious of everyone.

  • Wilen
    Wilen 14 dias atrás +73

    You forgot to mention that this is a video for normal people who happen to feel lonely. Not people who are defined by solitude and were rejected since the first time they set their foot outside.

  • ouch.
    ouch. 14 dias atrás +25

    The fact that this channel actually cares about us more than just the clickers and watchers is so meaningful. I didn't think I could love this channel anymore, and the people behind it but I truly do. Thank you for everything you do <3

  • Maxybro
    Maxybro 21 dia atrás +8

    A wise man once said:

  • SuperHotnessJom
    SuperHotnessJom 14 dias atrás +81

    Kids, when you're older, you will eventually realize that having a small number of tight-knit friends is better than having too many shallow ones. Keep what you have.

  • Stefan Wouters-Yaowanasap
    Stefan Wouters-Yaowanasap 14 dias atrás +26

    As an person with autism, maintaining friendships is so hard. I'm so greatful for the handful that take the initiative, because they know it's scary for me.

  • Milk Tea
    Milk Tea Dia atrás +5

    As a first year in university, I’ve been having this worry months before going. I’ve been introverted since almost forever (I might’ve been more extroverted with strangers before I moved to a new city) moreover, many of the friends I’ve made over the years in middle or high school were either them coming up to me and speaking, or we mutually met through other friends and kinda vibes, basically I never made the first move in making friends and was extremely lucky that people were just friendly with me.

  • chedder108
    chedder108 12 horas atrás +2

    This episode definitely speaks to me. As someone who's moved around my entire life, I've felt I've lacked the very foundation of a social life. There has been multiple times in my life where my number of peer connections was actually at zero.

  • JassMine Boyx SAX Channel
    JassMine Boyx SAX Channel 14 dias atrás +1

    Last year I went through my contacts list and reached out to everyone I hadn't talk to in a while. A considerable number shared with me that they were feeling extremely lonely and isolated. Some were really struggling to make it through their days. I think we are seeing these feelings proliferating in profoundly novel ways. Social media may be to blame, but I think it is more existential than that. People are experiencing less positive thought and happiness, and hope is less accessible. We need ways to reconnect to ourselves and those around us.

    DJUNGELSKOG 21 dia atrás +1

    Just a note I'd like to leave: you don't need many friends to feel like you're not alone, sometimes having a small, tightly knit group of friends you can count on is enough to keep you going!